6 Things To Do When You’re Angry

Are you an angry person? Do you sometimes get so angry you are about to explode? Everyone gets angry sometimes. It’s actually normal and healthy to feel anger, as it is just one of a wide range of emotions that human beings experience.

How one chooses to react and deal with their anger is an entirely different issue. We have grown accustomed to associating the term “anger” with scary, loud and aggressive behavior. That is not what anger necessarily looks like, but rather how many choose to display their anger.

Ideally, everyone could learn how to express their anger with words, in a calm and coherent, non-reactive manner. But we all know this is often easier said that done.

Some people get angry easily and frequently. Others feel this way hardly ever. Some people are quite good at expressing their anger and frustration in appropriate ways, while others tend to lash out and hurt people, either physically or emotionally.

Others tend to keep their anger inside, allowing it to fester and turn into depression and/or physical ailments. Sometimes, people just get so angry that they feel like they’re going to explode or blow up. Of course, this is never a good idea, as it can hurt people, including yourself. Instead of doing something destructive to your well-being, Follow these tips.

6 Things to Do When You’re Angry:


This allows you to let go of some negative energy and get endorphins pumping. You should feel calmer and more rational in no time. Get on the treadmill or elliptical, if you have one. Go for a run. Shoot some hoops. Or try something aggressive, like boxing. If you find this helpful, you can purchase a punching bag or similar item and some gloves for your home.

Use music to calm yourself

While classical or relaxing music might sound ideal, it can be helpful to start with loud, aggressive music and then move to something slower and more calming. Look for lyrics that resonate with you. You can even create a playlist for these very moments.

Have a “happy place”

Your happy place can be indoors or outdoors, at home or somewhere else easy to get to. Some like it to be their home office or “man cave”, while others prefer a place out in tune with nature. It doesn’t matter where it is, as long as it is a place that makes you happy. I’ve heard of things from the backyard to the mall to the beach and more!

Write an email or a letter, but don’t send it

You can write with a stream of consciousness or you can write with perfect grammar and punctuation. It doesn’t really matter. Don’t edit yourself, just say what you want to say and how you’re feeling. Then, when you’re actually ready to let go of that anger, delete what you wrote. In a way, deleting those words is symbolic of letting go of that anger.

Watch a funny movie or call someone who always makes you laugh

Studies show that laughing releases endorphins is has many health benefits. It will also help calm your nerves and reduce your feelings of anger. Find a comedy on Netflix.

Learn how to do deep breathing in a mindful and meditative manner

Meditation has proven physiological benefits and calming properties. Focus on something positive, something other than your anger while practicing meditation. You will feel like yourself again in no time. There are several meditation apps out there. Try one.

Lori Freson is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Southern California. She has been working in the mental health field since 1997, and has been a licensed therapist since 2002. Lori currently works in her own thriving private practice in Encino and Sherman Oaks, where she serves the San Fernando Valley and Los Angeles areas. Contact Lori at or call/text 818-514-LMFT


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